Bilbos Misadventures: Hot Springs
by VashandNaomiForever
Summary: Within the Lonely Mountain, there was a hot spring. Bilbo walks in on a bathing Thorin who's busily dropping the soap, unaware of Bilbos presence. When the hobbit decides it'd be funny to take Thorins clothes, he gets more than he bargained for!


Within the halls of the Lonely Mountain, there was a hot spring. Being that the place was very vast, not many knew about the location of the springs.

While exploring at night, Bilbo had found the secluded area and decided to use it the next evening. He had come back, excited to test the heated waters, when his ears picked up a groan. In response to the sound, Bilbo quickly slipped his ring on. Invisibility made him feel secure in the face of danger; it gave him courage.

Another groan echoed off the walls as Bilbo stealthily moved towards the noise. Steam was blurring most of his vision, an outline was made out within the hot water.

He made to move closer, but tripped over something on the ground! He caught himself, he'd almost fallen in the water. His hands reached down and picked up what had tripped him. Bilbos eyes took in very familiar clothing, Thorins!

A grunt was heard, as Bilbo let the clothing fall quietly to the ground. What was Thorin doing here? He would move in closer and take a look, after all, it's not like Thorin would see him in here.

Bilbo slunk closer to where he'd heard the dwarf king making unusual noise. The steam thinned lightly as he neared the edge of the water and took in the form of Thorin.

The well muscled arms of Thorin were getting rubbed down with soap, his hands working their way to his chest. The soap slipped from his grip, making the king curse as he tried feeling for the missing soap on the bottom of the pool.

Bilbo had to bite back a laugh, watching the annoyed dwarf search for his soap.

A thought came to the hobbits mind. Wouldn't it be terrible if Thorins clothes went missing? Why, he'd have quite a few halls to walk through to even reach something to cover his bare naked arse! With mischief in his eyes, Bilbo went back to the clothes he had tripped on and gathered them all in his arms. He started carrying the pile of clothing away when he heard a loud roar.

"Where are my clothes?! Fili, Kili, so help me if this is one of your tricks!" He bellowed, Bilbo racing out of the springs.

He heard slopping foot beats behind him, so he tried to hustle more but the clothes were weighing him down!

"I hear your breathing, trickster!" Thorins voice echoed towards Bilbo. He looked back to see the dwarf a few yards behind him, buck naked and chasing him! Thank goodness he had the ring on!

A false move made the rushed hobbit stumble, clothes falling every which way, his ring slipping off his finger. He was no longer invisible!

He made to get up, but was brought sky word by a strong grip. It was night time and dark in this hall, but Bilbo knew it was Thorin who grasped him.

"You nephews are not too old to still be brought over my knee!" He yelled in rage, still assuming it was one of his nephews. He bent Bilbo over his knee and swatted, hearing a cry that was by no means his kin.

Thorin lifted the other off his knee and pulled his trickster close to his face for a better view.

"Master Baggins? It was you who snuck in on me and took off with my clothing?" He spoke, surprised at the realization.

"I was only having a little fun, I mean imagine running into a fellow dwarf in your condition." Bilbo explained, trying to get out of the strong grip.

"Oh, funny is it? Well, lets see how you like the same trick done to you!" He growled, his hands roughly reaching for Bilbos vest and shirt.

"Thorin!" Bilbo cried, trying in vain to get the dwarf to stop his actions.

"Stop it! What would the others think if they saw this?!" Bilbo wriggled in Thorins grasp, getting ticklish.

Fili and Kili were walking along when they heard Bilbos voice. The two brothers, with a small lantern, ventured down the dark hall that the voice had come from.

They caught Bilbo saying "what would the others think if they saw this?" And the brothers stopped and looked at one another.

That sentence was very curious! They continued until their light showed a very interesting scene.

Their beloved uncle was naked, with his back thankfully turned towards the brothers eyes. Thorin was aggressively ripping at master Baggins trousers and tore the inseam apart. Bilbo was pushing at Thorin, trying to get the dwarf king off.

Fili coughed, getting Thorin to turn his head and look at his nephews. Shock turned quickly to anger as Thorin threw the hobbit to the ground, picked up his clothes and started for them.

"You saw nothing!" He growled at Fili and Kili before leaving in a huff, still clad in nothing but his birthday suit as he walked up the hall.

Bilbo was as red as a tomato as he tried quickly covering his bare upper body. The brothers watched as he picked something else off the floor then scurried away from them.

"Well, that was odd." Kili commented to his brother.

-0-0-

The Hobbit belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.

Authors Note: Thank you to everyone that has read/reviewed/favorited my Misadventures series! It means a lot hearing your kind words about these funny little stories! More are on the way! There's one story I might write a few chapters for, because the prank that's going on is so planned out I just would need to make it into a short chapter story. I don't wanna spoil the surprise on what it'll be about, but I'll say this. Bilbo will be cross dressing! Look forward to posting my next story and hearing what you all think about it. ^_^


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